#cover t-m-thaman-mohamed-aporia-en-1.jpg
#title Aporia
#subtitle Five poems of Thaman Mohamed
#author Thaman Mohamed
#LISTtitle Aporia
#lang en
#pubdate 2026-07-07T05:13:06.554Z
#authors Thaman Mohamed
#topics Indonesia, Poetry
#language English



*** Aporia

<verse>
I fell asleep
beneath
my own sweat
</verse>
<verse>
and my God.
</verse>
<verse>
Woke.
</verse>
<verse>
Wiping
my face
full of blood.
</verse>
<verse>
Undone.
</verse>
<verse>
Feeling
for
my body.
Marred.
</verse>
<verse>
My virginity;
my death;
my birth.
</verse>
<verse>
For Isa al-Masih—
</verse>
<verse>
be one
with God the Father.
</verse>
<verse>
I am
the true
Jesus.
</verse>


*** The Sin of Becoming a Man

<verse>
My body
inherited
the family.
</verse>
<verse>
A prayer
 to become a man.
</verse>
<verse>
Mutiny
against masculinity.
</verse>
<verse>
My body
only cishet.
     Half queer.
</verse>
<verse>
I hope
I pass.
</verse>
<verse>
I hope
my body breaks
with lips gone dry.
</verse>
<verse>
My tongue dances.
My eyes run.
Divorce.
Prayer rots in my mouth.
</verse>
<verse>
  God,
I have never finished
     becoming
     a man.
</verse>


*** Sofa

<verse>
Sing me.
Wet my body.
Before I fall asleep.
</verse>
<verse>
Seeing you
for the last
time.
</verse>
<verse>
Rain and sweat
become blood.
</verse>
<verse>
Then
   dry
on the sofa.
</verse>


*** A Club on Adityawarman

<verse>
A Winston
and a pint of Guinness.
</verse>
<verse>
He said to me,
Death is eternal life.
</verse>


*** Waiting for You in hell

<verse>
These days
have been hard.
I still
cannot
fall asleep
again.
</verse>
<verse>
Falling
from one side
of my eye.
</verse>
<verse>
Every day
against
sleep,
hunger,
and thirst.
</verse>
<verse>
Life
feels
miserable.
Filled
with guilt.
</verse>
<verse>
Waiting
in vain.
</verse>
<verse>
The country
handed down
sin.
</verse>
<verse>
And we grew
into children
of sins
never
forgiven.
</verse>


*** Thaman Mohamed | ~~

<strong>Thaman Mohamed</strong> lives in Bandung, Indonesia. He writes poetry and is part of Maison Aidos, a micro press. These poems are English translations selected from his forthcoming manuscript, <em>Semoga Lulus Ya.</em>